God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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