I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
