I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Someone shattered a urinal.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
