I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
