last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
