well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize