I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
