I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
two words...techno handjob
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
