i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Someone came in the potted fern
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize