I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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