no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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