we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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