just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
