only if we run a train.
done.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
