Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize