things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
