Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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