Where is the hickey?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
