his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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