Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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