There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
