I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
