How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
