Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
worst night to have a conscience
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
