You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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