dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
