Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
