I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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