Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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