We won't sleep together?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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