I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Bring me that man meat
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
