Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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