Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize