forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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