OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
