On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
