Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
