you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
