So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
