this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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