Are we in a gay sports bar?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
