u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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