Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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