I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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