well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I CAN MOONWALK!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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