do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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