so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
