you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
