p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
