Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
