worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
