the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
