She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
then he tried to convert me to islam
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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