what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
