I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
