I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
