seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
