bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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