booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
