No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
