I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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