South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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