everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
