Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
