Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize