Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
