I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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