I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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