i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
