"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
