Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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