R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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