This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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