So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
