I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
