Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
