Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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