It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
